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the sounds of skateworld
Jun. 9th, 2005 | 11:30 pm
I can't live in my room much longer. i hate these dogs. i hate that i can't trust that my stuff is left alone. I want to buy food and have it not eaten. ehhhh-- i don't want to spend so much time thinking about this stuff...
i'm tired but i have a lot to do tonight before camping. It isn't fun to clean my room with no computer or tv to entertain me.
all i want is to have a couch to lay on and watch t.v.
and see, id like to see nick right now --but its not worth the drive for either of us on a night like tonight when we're both busy. so it would be nice if we both kept base in the same location.
i want a friend who is a little bit crazy.
its funny because i really do like my job sometimes--i'd like to get paid more for it--
I have no time for anything. I know its mostly my fault because I make so many plans with people but i dont remember the last time i didnt have something to do for more than an hour straight. I should have an alone week. where i can get some stuff actually done. my problems are so stupid. i can't even imagine how different livejournal entries would be a year ago when i actually was feeling things--
i made a six year old cry today.
it's a long story involving a cootie catcher, a boy who we think is named Brian, and my lack of sensitivity. i'm a terrible person. It wasnt just a few tears either. It was full wailing--screaming and running hysterics.
Campie Nooner tomorrow--I am negative right now so i think ill go back to cleaning.
i wish i could be fucking alone for a goddamn hour. I cannot stand how in this house i'm not allowed to be in a bad mood--and all i want to do is go to my room and be ALONE but no, i have to be polite--but if i'm in a bad fucking mood--i am doing the right thing by trying to avoid people. but THAT ISN"T ALLOWED> i don't know how kids deal with living by rules and all this shit. i seriously think i'll die if i don't move out soon AND i think i have a great relationship with my parents. I just am a moody, picky, selfish person and i am aware of this--that is why i need plenty of alone time so i can be moody, picky, and selfish without effecting others too much. but this is not happening in my current life situation! and i KNOW it is pathetic for me to even mention these trivial problems when i have things so good and it is in my control to change these things blah blah blah...but i don't care. i hate you all.
i'm tired but i have a lot to do tonight before camping. It isn't fun to clean my room with no computer or tv to entertain me.
all i want is to have a couch to lay on and watch t.v.
and see, id like to see nick right now --but its not worth the drive for either of us on a night like tonight when we're both busy. so it would be nice if we both kept base in the same location.
i want a friend who is a little bit crazy.
its funny because i really do like my job sometimes--i'd like to get paid more for it--
I have no time for anything. I know its mostly my fault because I make so many plans with people but i dont remember the last time i didnt have something to do for more than an hour straight. I should have an alone week. where i can get some stuff actually done. my problems are so stupid. i can't even imagine how different livejournal entries would be a year ago when i actually was feeling things--
i made a six year old cry today.
it's a long story involving a cootie catcher, a boy who we think is named Brian, and my lack of sensitivity. i'm a terrible person. It wasnt just a few tears either. It was full wailing--screaming and running hysterics.
Campie Nooner tomorrow--I am negative right now so i think ill go back to cleaning.
i wish i could be fucking alone for a goddamn hour. I cannot stand how in this house i'm not allowed to be in a bad mood--and all i want to do is go to my room and be ALONE but no, i have to be polite--but if i'm in a bad fucking mood--i am doing the right thing by trying to avoid people. but THAT ISN"T ALLOWED> i don't know how kids deal with living by rules and all this shit. i seriously think i'll die if i don't move out soon AND i think i have a great relationship with my parents. I just am a moody, picky, selfish person and i am aware of this--that is why i need plenty of alone time so i can be moody, picky, and selfish without effecting others too much. but this is not happening in my current life situation! and i KNOW it is pathetic for me to even mention these trivial problems when i have things so good and it is in my control to change these things blah blah blah...but i don't care. i hate you all.