laurafish919 (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} laurafish919) wrote,@ 2005-09-18 00:13:00 |
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maybe this, maybe that--tonight i do not care
i'm in this situation where i'm incredibly annoyed but i don't even think i necessarily have a right to be...i guess i am realizing more and more that i need more privacy, less socializing, more alone time! i think i'm going to take a week off or something--from people. but even then--there is so much shit planned---this week, the only day i dont have something planned is wednesday. maybe the week after that ill take a week off from people--just so i can organize! so anticipate more bitching from me on this worn-out topic.
anyways, i'm just frustrated.
i'm very excited to go to Boston though--
i wish my knee wasn't fucked up. god, walking around boston is going to suck with this knee.
its almost scary. its bruised, sore, and it is making clicking sounds... and it seems like the clicking pain goes all the way down to my ankle..
and it has a terrible chain of events--such as i can't really run, and in place--i eat. and there goes my good mood! and any sense of control
i liked anita's family a lot today. she threw her mom a surprise 50th birthday party. it was really nice. it makes me miss jenny seba's family--i miss being the friend that the entire family knows. nikole seemed stressed out...
tomorrow is supposed to be this really nice day with nick and i where he was going to do anything i wanted for my birthday --
but since things have been so hectic lately, i think i will make my wish be to just hang out here with no one else! maybe we'll go to my parents for a bit--maybe we'll clean. there was an incident last night with a skinned knee and some garlic salt that i'm still unable to talk about without becoming violent...it would be nice to clean all remains of that dreadful memory off the bathroom and kitchen floors.
hmm what i REALLY wanted to do is have him come work out with me or go to stoney creek or something but my knee has changed my plans. you know, actually i think i just want to have the entire day to myself. oh my god i cant even imagine--i'd clean, run (if my knee wasnt hurt), color, read, maybe go shopping, take a nap--just stupid little stuff--but i'd be alone and i wouldnt have anyone here when i got back...cause when nick is here the t.v. is constantly on and its always something i dont want to watch, his shit is around--including his own body. and he makes me mad a lot. man, i friggin want to be alone! its not like nick ever crowds me--if anything, i wish i did have the chance to complain about nick being clingy since he never is...but i dont know how i'm going to enjoy this day feeling so scattered in every other aspect of my life. i'll probably just talk all day to him about my thoughts and not enjoy nick time. for the rest of people in relationships out there, i'm sure some of you understand this nick situation--yes, i live with him now and see him almost daily but either there are 897 people with us, or its five minutes in the middle of the night or when i leave for work in the morning.
anyways i'm just thinking right now...i'm so mad at myself because every problem i have lately is because i'm not aggressive enough.
i'm thirsty but since my knee hurts i dont want to go limp to the kitchen.
supermodels are pretty
i'm in this situation where i'm incredibly annoyed but i don't even think i necessarily have a right to be...i guess i am realizing more and more that i need more privacy, less socializing, more alone time! i think i'm going to take a week off or something--from people. but even then--there is so much shit planned---this week, the only day i dont have something planned is wednesday. maybe the week after that ill take a week off from people--just so i can organize! so anticipate more bitching from me on this worn-out topic.
anyways, i'm just frustrated.
i'm very excited to go to Boston though--
i wish my knee wasn't fucked up. god, walking around boston is going to suck with this knee.
its almost scary. its bruised, sore, and it is making clicking sounds... and it seems like the clicking pain goes all the way down to my ankle..
and it has a terrible chain of events--such as i can't really run, and in place--i eat. and there goes my good mood! and any sense of control
i liked anita's family a lot today. she threw her mom a surprise 50th birthday party. it was really nice. it makes me miss jenny seba's family--i miss being the friend that the entire family knows. nikole seemed stressed out...
tomorrow is supposed to be this really nice day with nick and i where he was going to do anything i wanted for my birthday --
but since things have been so hectic lately, i think i will make my wish be to just hang out here with no one else! maybe we'll go to my parents for a bit--maybe we'll clean. there was an incident last night with a skinned knee and some garlic salt that i'm still unable to talk about without becoming violent...it would be nice to clean all remains of that dreadful memory off the bathroom and kitchen floors.
hmm what i REALLY wanted to do is have him come work out with me or go to stoney creek or something but my knee has changed my plans. you know, actually i think i just want to have the entire day to myself. oh my god i cant even imagine--i'd clean, run (if my knee wasnt hurt), color, read, maybe go shopping, take a nap--just stupid little stuff--but i'd be alone and i wouldnt have anyone here when i got back...cause when nick is here the t.v. is constantly on and its always something i dont want to watch, his shit is around--including his own body. and he makes me mad a lot. man, i friggin want to be alone! its not like nick ever crowds me--if anything, i wish i did have the chance to complain about nick being clingy since he never is...but i dont know how i'm going to enjoy this day feeling so scattered in every other aspect of my life. i'll probably just talk all day to him about my thoughts and not enjoy nick time. for the rest of people in relationships out there, i'm sure some of you understand this nick situation--yes, i live with him now and see him almost daily but either there are 897 people with us, or its five minutes in the middle of the night or when i leave for work in the morning.
anyways i'm just thinking right now...i'm so mad at myself because every problem i have lately is because i'm not aggressive enough.
i'm thirsty but since my knee hurts i dont want to go limp to the kitchen.
supermodels are pretty
